Where is this Girl???

Hey guys! My name is Susan Justice and I've decided to blog my experience and post something very raw and expose me for who I am. Why??? Because I want a change. I want to put it out there to be accountable to myself and make the statement that I AM GOING TO CHANGE!

So, here's the deal... I've always been a big girl since my early teens. Susan and plus size, well, it went together. To make a long story short, I woke up one summer day and decided that I had had enough. I immediately went to a bookstore and purchased a book that changed my life... LITERALLY! I made a 360 degree turn-around. I went from eating all day and barely excercising to eating 5 small healthy meals a day, working out vigorously 6-7 days/week, strength training, and hired a trainer on multiple occasions. The book is titled, "The Body for Life for Women" by Dr. Pamela Peake and my trainer (who you can locate on FaceBook) is Linton McClain. I highly recommend both!!!

The results:

Although I had lost all this weight, felt healthy and had a ton of energy, I never felt like it was good enough. I was so critical and crucial all the time and was constantly worried how I looked. I never really took the time to appreciate all of the hard work and never really realized how far I had truly come. I didn't realize that I was shopping at Charlotte Rouse buying a small, or walking into Forever 21 and finding out that a medium was too big. NOO.. instead, I looked at what I thought were imperfections. The instant my scheduled changed and I wasn't able to hit the gym every day, I slowly started incorporating bad habits and before I knew it I had gained 30 lbs prior to Nursing School. Bare with me... I'm getting to the point! What's sad is that when I had only gained 30lbs, I really wasn't that big, however, I viewed myself as if I were 800lbs. Below is a pic of what I looked like after gaining 30lbs and right before I started Nursing School (i'm on the right).






What did I do? I.quit.plain.and.simple. I quit! Over the course of nursing school, my habits grew worse and exercising was the past. Every day that I viewed myself, it was negative. I was huge and wasn't making any changes to do something about it. I heard something not long ago while I was on my cruise. We were listening to a tape and a speaker said, "what you tell yourself ever day, you become." WOW, that hit me like a ton of bricks! I realized that after all this time I was negative and I told myself every day how fat I had become. I even cracked daily jokes and encouraged others to laugh at my expense.



So, here I am today, heavier and out of shape. I've lacked motivation for so long. NO MORE EXCUSES!!! I am literally sick of them. I'm sick of telling myself that I can't do this because I know I can. I'm sick of telling myself that my schedule is too hectic because where there is a will, there is a way. Third, I'm sick of not investing in myself because I want to live a healthy long life and be able to enjoy it without running out of breathe! I'm worth investing time into! Say that to yourself, it's empowering! So, thats why I'm being so raw. I've gained weight, I'm a big girl, but I'm wanting to make a change. Being healthy is worth fighting for, it's worth investing your time into. We can do this! My hope is that I can help someone else and say that you've NOT alone. I've already been making changes and I have so much more to do. Today is a new day!!! I'm meeting with a Registered Dietician today and I can't wait to get started! I can't wait to see results! I can't wait to kick butt in a gym again! I JUST CAN'T WAIT to be healthy again. Most of all, I just want to feel good about myself for me. Not for anyone else, but me! I'm going to be posting pics along the way. My biggest thanks to people like Lydia Shannon and Vu Bui who also have enough guts to be so raw about this subject. You guys literally inspired me to make those changes and I cannot say thank you enough!


So, here I am, weight gain and all! I know this will be a slow process, but I'm up for the challenge.